Friday, July 9, 2010

Precious and Preferred

In a previous blog, Ruth (see I have written of my Grandmother.  The relationships between the women in my family have never been easy, until now.

Ruth is in a nursing home now.  She fell out of bed and was found, two days later, on the floor.  Dehydrated, delirious and with a broken rib, she was immediately placed in the Critical Care Unit for several days.

She has pneumonia and is bed bound.  Her new home is Golden Living.  Is it Golden Living?  Maybe.  The nurses love her and often stop in just because.  She can't see very well and hears even less (they keep losing her hearing aids). 

Before (read: when Mom was alive and the environment emotionally toxic) I barely saw Grandma.  Recently I have wanted to see her more, but I haven't.  Life, busy-ness, and just stuff have kept me away.  Or did I not go because I didn't 'have to'?  When life is overwhelming we only do what we MUST, what we HAVE TO, what is critical.  Or we do what is easiest.  It was just easier not to see her so much.  Easier for me.

Now, I plan my day around popping in to see her.  I want to have those moments.  I didn't get to spend time with my Mom when she was leaving this life.  I am committed to doing so with Gram.

Last night, as she rested, I was praying for her.  Though her mind may not be aware of who I am or where she is, her spirit hears.  I prayed, among many things, that she would know how loved she is.  Loved by God.  Loved by us.  I prayed she would know how precious she is to all of us and to Him. 

In that still, small voice, I heard that not only is she precious to God, but she is preferred.  She is preferred because she is just as important Jesus.  From a theological perspective, I can't explain it well.  I can only borrow a quote from John Bevere's book, Extraordinary.  If she, and all of us, wasn't  just as valuable to God as Jesus, he wouldn't have died on the cross.   She, and all of us, are preferred because out of all creation, the amazing animals, plants, and life, God chose us to create in His own image. 

In the stuffy room, as I held her swollen, wrinkled and soft hand, I was given a revelation about her and myself.  Surprisingly I was given a precious gift from this little preferred woman.  I can't wait to go see her this afternoon. 

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