Grateful and Curiously Bored

July 4th at NaNas is amazing.  The entire township sky is filled with fireworks and smoke and lights and sounds.  I sat on the deck, stretched comfortably in a chaise lounge, marveling at this celebration of American independence.

I also marveled at my boys independence.  It began earlier in the day at the annual family picnic.  Ian, in his skater American flag t-shirt, arrived at the picnic and quickly went to the swing set.  He was swinging back and forth and taking stock of the fun to be had among the cousins.  Within minutes he was kicking a soccer ball with a random cousin in the field.  Me?  I sat in the shade and watched, grateful and curiously bored.

Caden, my three year old, resplendent in his flag t-shirt and coordinating madras shorts, walked around looking at everyone.  His shoulders were slumped forward and he kept asking for his, "Rissa."  Rissa is a teenage cousin, Marissa, who has been the center of Caden's cousin Universe since birth.  With her arrival he too was gone--chasing her and randomly stopping to sip from his sippy cup.  Me?  Still sitting in the shade, sweating through my flag t-shirt and sticking to the bench.  Grateful and curiously bored.

Later that night, as I reclined in the chaise, I could see the baby in NaNas lap.  Hiding from the booming fireworks, he sat cuddling, gnoshing on the chocolate cake he was being spoon fed.  Ian was running the neighborhood with the girls next door.  I could see him a block away, as he glowed with the two foot long glow stick around his neck. 

Each day I must hover a little less.  Each day they move further into their own lives.  I am grateful for confident sons who are part of these safe loving communities.  I am grateful there are those who like to play with my amazing lovies.  What will I do now that I have less of the caretaking to do?  I need to learn how to play or I will spend too much time being curiously bored.