Seeing Straight

"Mommy, these are kind of not handsome on me. I do not wike dem."

"Mommy, I am not enchanted with these."

"Mommy, all right! (Fist pump in air) Dese are de ones. I wook handsome."

This is how we picked glasses out for my 5 1/2 year old today. He was so grown up, he barely flinched when they did the air pop test on his eyeballs. He was also able to tell the Doc which one worked best 1 or 2, 3 or 4.

My little sweety will indeed look handsome in his new glasses. He also, for the first time, will frickin' frackin' be able to see straight! What is not so handsome is the wave of guilt that overwhelmed me as I saw he indeed couldn't see. I actually began to mist in the office.

We haven't had his eyes checked, because, well we just didn't. There are a hundred reasons, all not good enough. We just didn't. So, I can beat myself up that maybe the majority of his school problems can be attributed to his poor eyesight. I can wallow in the guilt of not taking care of one of the major details of my son's health.

Or I can take the advice first given by our LaMaze coach. "When you know better, you do better." I now know he needs glasses. We'll do better to get him checked.

Why is it that tonight, it's hard for me to see straight? straight past the mommy self recrimination?

What I need to see is the vision for my son's life. That glasses, allergies, asthma and an annoying habit of grabbing pieces parts or boogers, are all steps toward him becoming the amazing man God created Him to be. I need to see that getting glasses, and him feeling good about them is a good day. I need to see that he is growing and maturing so fast if I blink, I might not see it.

After some sugared corn based breakfast product, I know I'll see better. And tomorrow, when we pick up his new, enchanted glasses, I know my love, my first son, will see better too.




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