First Day

Tomorrow officially starts the school year for my boys.  The backpack is packed, the pencil box filled and the required 6 folders in their assigned colors properly assembled.

Tomorrow my 8 year old starts second grade.  Gone are the worries he wouldn't be able to read.  Forming relationships became easier and those 'problem' behaviors all but disappeared.  In the midst of preparations, I realized something.

He will enter the bus a completely regular kid.  No deficits.  No interventions.  Nada. 

He's looking forward to seeing his pal Eli.  He is bummed to go back and promises to still only really like recess.  He didn't really care what he was going to wear, only that it wasn't 'fancy'.

I see the shape of the young man he will become forming in his features even now.  I see time leaping forward.  I see him growing increasingly-himself.  And I am completely fascinated by this new person.

With a son, there is a bittersweet mix.  On one hand is it really possible he can't manage to find his shoes most days? Or remember to brush/wash/clean/anything for longer than 5 minutes or until something electronic and shiny happens by? 

On the other hand is this knobby kneed body which is all angles trying to fit in my lap.  A boy-baby who leans into me just because he can.  He still tells me first of all the newly acquired game characters or levels attained on some beepygamethingy.  He falls asleep reading and comforts his brother when I am mean.

I love him.  I am made crazy by him.  And tomorrow, on first day, I will miss him very much.