Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A Burrito As Big As My Arm

So I finally made the life altering decision to take off a little (okay, a lot) of weight. I have shed so much emotional 'weight' in the last couple years that it was time.

I am, what I like to call, substantial. I have a coffee mug someone thought would be cute to give me which reads, "I'm not fat. I'm fluffy." It bears a rather large cat with a grimace. That's what I did when I received it, grimaced.

People say, "She has such a beautiful face. If she could just lose a few pounds." Really?

My whole life I shopped in 'that' section. You know the one, in the back, where the clothes resemble feed sacks and contain a lot of denim and really, really large print.

I don't want to shop in that section anymore. I don't want to be in the back. I want to be in the front, I think. At least I would consider being in the front. In the front of my emotional, spiritual and 'real' life.

I'm in day 10 of the Curves weight management and health plan thingy. It has meant great sacrifice. Sacrifice of sugar. Sacrifice of convenience. Sacrifice of being full in my tummy to be full in my heart.

That is why I ate half of a burrito as big as my arm. The burrito was a reward, a break and a victory. A reward for sticking with it. A break from counting, weighing and recording. It was a victory because I know I can go right back to taking care of myself and back on plan. Before I would have felt guilty and would have given up. Not anymore.

I can eat half a burrito as big as my arm and still win the battle. The battle of the bulge. The battle to keep whole, sane and happy.

It was a darn good burrito. It's a darn good life.

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